Good morning self isolation inmates, anyone know how much Vodka goes into three scrambled eggs?

— jvharris_1965 (@jvharris_1965) June 27, 2020

Having to do dishes every 7 minutes during quarantine is my villain origin story.

— Asia (@AsiaChloeBrown) April 28, 2020

Quarantine can be fun if you pretend you committed a crime and are laying low until the heat dies down

— Andrew Schiavone (@aschiavone) May 9, 2020

Next reason to not wear a mask. I’ll wait... from r/CovIdiots

If anyone ever again questions whether or not #TrumpIsALaughingStock, just show them this brilliance from @sarahcpr pic.twitter.com/GLZUuuax8S

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 24, 2020

If you're close enough for me to kick you in the balls, then you're not social distancing.

Don't make me kick you in the balls.

— David Leavitt (@David_Leavitt) May 7, 2020

Social distancing feels like playing Frogger. pic.twitter.com/dvDctlP6RS

— Fukiu Haiku (@FukiuPoetry) May 4, 2020

#QuarantineLife

Telling your suitcase there’s no vacation this year is tough. pic.twitter.com/LZpRGXHyFP

— Estee Stimler (@EsteeStimler) May 5, 2020

If you're feeling a bit down cause of self isolation just cut bread into a hand shape and when it pops up in the toaster it feels like someone is giving you a high 5 pic.twitter.com/bY1jyFIPKg

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 2, 2020

gonna tell my kids this was the coronavirus pic.twitter.com/8eDbsYddkW

— E. Alex Jung (@e_alexjung) March 19, 2020

Me when someone asks what day it is pic.twitter.com/1lhUh4eRUh

— John Robert Allman (@Johnny_Allman) March 29, 2020

That feeling when you put on a real outfit for the first time in weeks. #quarantinelife pic.twitter.com/PrI10sbxJG

— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) May 1, 2020

Me: This is the worst television show I’ve ever seen.

My Boss: This is a Zoom meeting. — Goats? (@Gooooats) April 29, 2020

The original Zoom meeting pic.twitter.com/WSCYkaTCHP

— John M. Cunningham (@jmcunning) March 28, 2020

people keep saying “don’t check your 401k” like I know what that is or have one to check. should I also sanitize my opera binoculars? cancel my incoming shipment of caviar? fuel up the private jet while prices are low?

— ????? ?????? (@calebsaysthings) March 17, 2020

Growing up in 2020 ? pic.twitter.com/h7MC3nPjm1

— arisytner (@arisytner) April 28, 2020

Leslie Knope makes sure her old friend Ron is social distancing properly in this clip from Thursday night’s at-home Parks and Rec reunion special. pic.twitter.com/0cWUPh3dl7

— IGN (@IGN) April 30, 2020

Idea: We all combine of our $1200 stimulus checks and buy the Knicks

— B. W. Carlin (@BaileyCarlin) March 26, 2020

#ClassicBoredGames#Covid Four #COVID19 #coronavirusmemes #coronavirus pic.twitter.com/NbC2fXuoBX

— The Bad PUN-isher (@TheBadPUN_isher) May 2, 2020

Keep safe gents ! #QuarantineLife pic.twitter.com/LgFOmfa14d

— Ginger Pele⚒ (@kbailey120) May 1, 2020

insert face palm from r/CoronavirusMemes

Me: why does my back hurt

Also me: pic.twitter.com/aqffaJa3A9 — wajed (@borderlineyikes) March 26, 2020

What do I do if I think my tree has the corona virus ??

(Luiquidambar styraciflua 'Worplesdon' aka Worplesdon sweet gum) pic.twitter.com/1qyJIZFfQ3 — Scott Andrew Collyer (@ScottatEmpyrean) April 23, 2020

Tits out, y'all....... Tits out.#Coronavirusmemes #Quarantining pic.twitter.com/LW3YbekuMh

— IWedFred (@IWedFred) April 18, 2020

The pandemic has also highlighted my need to marry a hairdresser-nail-artist-chef-dentist who lives on a secret island.

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) April 29, 2020

At least the real Jeffrey Epstein probably has died of coronavirus

— dylan gelula (@DylanGelula) April 5, 2020

On average, a Panda feeds for approximately 12 hours per day

This is the same as an adult at home under quarantine, which is why we call it a "pandemic" pic.twitter.com/6q2WBLALPY — ᴅᴇʟᴛᴀ ᴇᴄʜᴏ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟ ?‍☠️ ???? ? \{^_^}/ (@dennis_won) May 3, 2020

Thinking of Seinfeld plots that could happen during quarantine, e.g.:

Kramer gets too into breadmaking and converts his apartment into an industrial bakery. The deafening roar of the bread machinery ruins Jerry’s Zoom-based standup special. Meanwhile, George is dead. — pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) April 21, 2020

#IKeepMyselfSaneBy making haiku cartoons pic.twitter.com/UsOIKy4UEO

— Fukiu Haiku (@FukiuPoetry) April 6, 2020

Uhh, I need to phone a friend. #QuarantineLife pic.twitter.com/VHi1KFcUeI

— Hawks101 (@Hawks101101) May 3, 2020

Day #3 of quarantine..... pic.twitter.com/rUqUaSUd3E

— Yisus (@DiazRdg14) March 18, 2020

Trying to figure out where to travel next. Any thoughts??? #QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/VSendSOIO3

— Steven Diefenbaker (@skepticalstevie) March 19, 2020

I bet a lot wives right now wish their husbands bought them a Peloton for Christmas

— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) March 16, 2020

America getting ready to reopen pic.twitter.com/b6mM0M5cxH

— Keith Edwards (@keithedwards) April 30, 2020

It's a wee bit ironic, he's in scrubs and she's hanging out the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holler pic.twitter.com/T2g2UeafA8

— shawn (@nwahs086) April 21, 2020

Today a GOP state rep in Ohio said he won’t wear a mask because “God doesn’t wear one.”

Look at My profile pic. I am clearly wearing a mask.

— God (@thegoodgodabove) May 4, 2020

i’ve decided to print out Wikipedia so I can read it during the quarantine. pic.twitter.com/trlCiyB10C

— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) April 29, 2020

March 1st v. May 1st pic.twitter.com/C8Fn4Sq6ld

— Brandon Schaefer (@seekandspeak) May 2, 2020

A whole mood pic.twitter.com/iMm4qbW5LS

— Janet D. (@TheRealPRLady) April 9, 2020

February: I'm not an impeachment scholar, but
March: I'm not an epidemiologist, but
April: I'm not a labor economist, but
May: I'm not a macroeconomist, but
June: I'm not a hunter-gatherer, but

— Scott J(urisprude) Shapiro (@scottjshapiro) April 3, 2020

I CACKLED #coronapocolypse pic.twitter.com/gXEyAblOPT

— palpatine meg (@SethMegan) March 15, 2020

Me: what’s the first thing you want to do after the quarantine?

Wife: get a babysitter. — WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) April 2, 2020